my new bud!

Well things are going ok, living on my own and stuff. I got a new buddy! I love him to pieces! His name suits him! He is a 1.5 yr old cat, that LOVES to talk, and snuggle when im sitting down. Everywhere I go, he's always right behind me. I'm so happy I made up my mind and got myself a cat.

life

Well I haven't blogged in a while, Just kind of lost interest I guess. I doubt many people read it anyway. Things have been pretty good around here. I am settled into my new place! It sucks waking up with no one beside you, I think thats the hardest part. Coming home to an empty house! But we are doing OKAY! I see Travis a lot, we spend our days off together pretty much. My neighbor is amazing! She bakes and cooks for me! The other night she made mini pies, and meat pies! I got some of thoes. I have a lot in my freezer too, but their not mine! She borrowed my freezer because she didn't have anymore room in hers lol.

I have somehow been losing a lot of weight. I am not going by what I actually weigh, because that vary's throughout the day, so I don't know what to go by...I know right after you get up in the morning, and after you pee...I have been fitting into all my old clothes. I feel a lot better too.

Work has been going okay. One resident scares the shit out of me! And he knows it, he follows me around with a blank stare, ready to snap. My last 4 shifts he has attacked someone! One day it will be one of the RCA's, and we WILL get hurt! He is a huge man. He is scary when he's mad...but such a nice guy tho. I feel bad, because he was never like this in his normal life. I would never want dementia, it turns you into something u never were, it's pretty sad.

I got to see Jason and Ashley and the kids a couple weeks ago! They are sure getting big! I talked to my mom a few times after what happened. I still can't believe she did that, and ya...Im still pissed! I just don't understand how someone could do that, Especiall a mother! Oh well

anyways im gonna go get ready and go for a walk, It's about 25 outside right now!!

Trust?

Well it took a long time to build my moms trust back, after what she has done. So many little things. I trusted her, and I trusted Ross. I trusted they have changed, and would not screw me over. But i was wrong:( Yesterday my mom told me that she has had my name in her hydro since October. She used all my information to set up an account. I can't trust her, I don't even want to talk to her. I am done with getting hurt! So there is an outstanding balance on the account, that i have to pay if she doesn't, and if she doesn't pay it, it will screw my credit up. I just wish I had a normal mom that would take care of me! Especially during a hard time like now. But sometimes it seems i wish for to much:(

this is it

Well this is it. I am moving out at the end of the month, and me and Travis are no more! I don't know what to do or think right now though. I am heartbroken and lost. But I AM STRONG and can get through this again, and again and again. Well it seems like it anyway. I found a 1 bedroom apartment on the north shore, and it's close to everything. Cross the street and you have extra food, shoppers, the gym, McDonald's and a bunch more stuff. Once I move out things will get better! I hope anyways. I have been working a lot, and that seems to keep my mind off things. But lately its been a gong show. They fired one of my co workers and keep forgetting to schedule someone to work for her. So yesterday no one came in, and i ended up doing pretty much all 13 residents myself. I am tired but today is my Friday!!

The end

Well I guess i should let the world know...Travis and I broke up...well are breaking up. Either him or I will move out at the end of April. This is one of the hardest things ever. The worse pain ever is a broken heart! I have nothing else to write. Maybe a miracle will happen and things will work out. I doubt it though. One day I will meet my prince charming, who loves me for me! I will update more in a bit!

Some stuff...clean house!

Well Travis' mom was here for 5 days...FUN! She cleaned our house from top to bottom, did all our laundry, and made us a huge turkey dinner...We have enough turkey to have a whole big dinner again. It's so nice tho, our house is spotless!! I love it, and have been keeping up with it. Travis and I have had a rough patch in our relationship. Had a scary day the other day...Everything turned out ok though. For whoever reads my blog, i posted a couple links on the right side of babies that need our prayers...or thoughts. Little Harper was born with pneumonia. She was in the hospital for 20 days. She's so cute! Then Braydon was born with fluid on his lungs I think...He is home and doing better also. And baby Jonah was born with a rare skin condition. So if u want, take a look and pass them on. Hope everyone is doing ok!

Thank you!

Today I was having a bad day, cleaning up the house and everything. I am really frustrated, I have taken my L twice now and failed both times. I want to be able to drive, I hate leaning on other people. Travis knows how frustrated I am with it. I was almost in tears today cause i was so frustrated. Till Travis hugged me, and thanked me...I asked him why he thanked me...He said for being you!! Then I almost cried! Finally someone will stick by my side, and love me for who I am. Sure sometimes he's a dork, but a fun dork! And I love him. Just those little words made my day so much better. Travis I love you, and thank you for putting up with me!!